Entry #7: Will Computers Ever Be Smarter Than People?

A valid question, and yet so easily answered. The long version: "Never in a million years." Short version: "No." 

How could anyone ever think of ever considering the possibility of this ever happening? Clearly, they must be the few people who don't use Microsoft Windows on a regular basis. Or use any computers at all for that matter.

Computers are stupid. Very very stupid. They only do what you/someone else tells them to do. Nothing more. The notion of A.I. is in my opinion almost laughable. I am going to take a hard amd firm stance on this one. There will NEVER be any computers that can think independently apart from human intervention. It's not possible. And claming that it is possible is like trying to claim that zebras aren't black and white. So unless any of you in the e-world are familiar with a particular breed of purple zebras that I am currently unaware of, I think you understand my position.

 I will say that the idea of A.I. certainly makes for good science fiction. 2001: A Space Odessey is clear proof. The classic line, "I'm sorry, I can't do that Dave," need not even be mentioned. H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds is also a classic piece of literature that sort of touches on that idea.

I classify A.I. in the same group as Time Travel, Teleportation, Telepathy, Telekenisis, and any other Tele's I didn't otherwise mention. It's in that weirdy pardoxical spacey sort of category.

GOAL FOR THE DAY:

Give others some hope, please wash with soap.

E-goodbye.

Entry #6: Doomsayers....I Predict That They'll All Die Out One Day...

Ah yes. Ever since the dawn of civilization there have been a few proud, self-assertive people who deem it necessary to claim that everything we know and hold dear will go up in a fiery inferno of death and chaos. Or go up in a flood of epic proportions. Or we'll all be baked alive by UV rays from the sun. Or instead of being fried like catfish, the sun will inexplicably explode, vaporizing us all. Or the trees will revolt and poison us, and we'll curse Mother Nature with our last breaths as we gag on putrid fumes. Or aliens will invade, and exterminate us from the planet by sucking our brains out of our heads. I have a theory: the more ridiculous the claimed calamity is, the more likely people are to agree with you. Now to test my theory:

I PREDICT THAT IN THE YEAR 2011 WE WILL ALL SUFFER FROM A FOODBOURNE ILLNESS BROUGHT ON BY POOR QUALITY BAGUETTES MADE BY FRENCHMEN!!

Now, I've always been a skeptic of anyone who says that we're all going to die in a massive catastrophe. Mostly my reasons for disbelief stem from the fact that 6 millennia have gone by, and we're still all here, alive, and for the most part, doing quite well. I mean, for 6 thousand years doomsayers have been getting it wrong. Sadly though, Google seems to think otherwise. If you Google "doomsayers + right" you get app. 700,000 hits. However, if you Google "doomsayers + wrong" you only get app. 475,000 hits. Clearly society thinks they're right, according to Google.

Also, I really feel the need to point out that if such events were to occur and a doomsayer happened to be right, what would he say after it happens? Say, "I told you so!"? Or "Ha! I was right all along! You guys didn't believe me but boy did I nail THAT one on the head." The phrase, "I told you so" does little to console the eradication of humanity as we know it.

So instead my scheme is simple. I will predict the end of the world by global cooling instead of global warming. This flawless plan is sure to make me a genius, a millionaire, and a trendy international jet-setter. Just like Al Gore. Then I'll write a book, steal a Nobel prize, and chock it up that I'm one heck of a regular guy.

Now if you people out there in the e-world insist on being the nutter wearing that sandwich board that says "The end is nigh." Then by all means be my guest. But don't expect to get a warm welcome from the likes of me.

GOAL FOR THE DAY:

Say please and thanks, even when robbing banks.

Laterz mah lEEt peeps!

Entry #5: A Date With Destiny, and She's 5 Years Overdue...

Ah yes, the dreaded High School Reunion. A time of much fear and trepidation. Your palms get all clammy, and you get that sinking feeling in your gut. All of the sudden it starts to smell like teen spirit.

Now for a little background: In High School, I wasn't exactly the king o' the pack, if you know what I mean. Now let me explain this in a more tangible way. There are 3 classes of social order in any given High School. Firstly, there are the Lords. Those are the popular people that hoarde all the cool to themselves and would never be caught dead with anyone who did not at least equal or exceed their social status. Next, you got the poor peasant. A victim of the "lords" they have failed to become anything signifigant and therefore have been given the status of social "reject", as in somehow they didn't quite fit the mold. Then you have the third class, of which I was a proud member, the mechant class. They are affluent, polished, but usually come from humble roots They fraternize with both rich and poor, and see no difference between the two. They have the ability to speak to anyone, and they are listened to, regardless of the social status of the listener. Hope that explains my social life in High School a little better.

Anyways, so I had my 5 year reunion last week, and frankly, it was awesome. To tell the truth, I was scared out of my mind. I didn't want to go because I thought I'd just be seen as a bum living at home with my parents. I even sat in the car for a half an hour because I didn't want to go in. But, suprisingly, it was pretty good. I got a very warm reception and it turned out to be a blast. I want the next one to come already! But in the mean time, I am going to do something that will earn me worldwide acclamation, so that I can got back and brag about how amazing I am. Please people, form an orderly queue and wait your turn for autographs.

People, you have my blessing.

GOAL FOR THE DAY:

Work out a bunch, and eat a healthy lunch.